


Through the test of time

by Ms_Faker



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (2017), Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Slow Burn, The secrets of the Jedi Order, supreme slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-13 23:41:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13581414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ms_Faker/pseuds/Ms_Faker
Summary: After the battle of Crait the Resistance is defeated and unsure as to what to do next. But one thing is clear; they will not sit idly by as the first order takes full control over the galaxy with their new supreme leader at the helm. As the Resistance plans out their next course of action, Rey takes to the ancient Jedi text and learns secrets she never would have imagined.





	1. A generals way

**Author's Note:**

> well hello there, and welcome to my new fan fiction. I don't want to say much, because I don't want to spoil the story so I will be brief. After watching TLJ I found myself, as everyone ells did shocked and with a great need to learn more, so I decided to write this fan fiction to appease that need.
> 
> So a few things you might want to know before reading, is that this is a reylo fan fiction and the rating will go up in much later chapters. But don't worry when I say much later chapters, I really do mean it and I will warn you guys before we get there. I am just letting you know that, that is the eventual goal.
> 
> Lastly before I go, this new fan fiction will not stop me from updating my other fan fiction Knights and officers. And I will try to update, this fan fiction and Knights and officers weekly.
> 
> So without further ado, I would like to thank my wonderful Beta readers, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

“We can’t just find some uncharted planet, and wait maybe years until we can make a move against the First Order! We need to gather our forces and strike now while the iron is still hot!” Those were the words that left Poe’s lips, as he discussed with Leia over what do about their current predicament.

It had been a week since the battle of Crait, a week since the Resistance was brought to its knees and crippled by the First Order. The last members of the Resistance were being housed in the Millennium Falcon, and it is only now that Rey had come to realize that the ship is a lot smaller than she previously thought. There is so little space, and it was becoming harder and harder to accommodate everyone inside such a small ship. Rations are low, and Leia was afraid to land on any planet, knowing that an iconic ship like the Millennium Falcon would be easily recognized. With no other choice, they kept to the emptiness of space.

The lack of space and food had put everyone at the Falcon on edge. Comrades like Finn, and Rose; that once put their lives at risk to save each other were now snapping at each other for any minor grievance. And the leaders, who once worked together side by side, were now arguing at every opportunity they got. It became apparent to everyone that they needed to find a solution to their problems - a fast one - if they didn’t want to rip each other to threads, or end up stranded in the middle of nowhere with no fuel.

They all wanted their problem to be solved, but the two people in charge could not come up with a solution. Any solution that was proposed by one was quickly shut down by the other. These two leaders were Poe Dameron and Leia Organa. After the defeat and death of countless rebels, Leia had no choice but to promote Poe to general. She knew that she couldn’t possibly manage by herself. No, she needed someone by her side, someone the others looked up to and would follow just as fiercely as they followed her. Leia knew right away who that person needed to be, but she wasn’t thrilled by the idea. She loved Poe like her own son, and knew that he has the potential to be great, maybe even surpassing her one day. But she also knew that Poe can be brash, and makes hasty decisions - not to mention his tendencies to be a hero. She knows that if he could, Poe would take the next available ship and confront the First Order by himself. Poe was a man that didn’t fear his enemies, no matter how big and powerful they were, and he definitely would not stand by while his enemies destroyed everything he believed in.

And for those reasons Leia didn’t want to make Poe a general, not because she didn’t believe in him, but because he still had much to learn. _But isn't he just like me? I was younger when I became a general._ She knows that Poe and her are very alike. She was once a brash young general of the Rebellion who once thought as he did, and she also dreamed of single handedly striking the blow that would defeat the Empire. But she soon learned that such brashness and hotheadedness doesn’t bring victory, and only results in the death of many. Oh sure, some of her goals had been achieved with this way of thinking - but at what cost? As she aged she found herself more and more unwilling to sacrifice lives, even though losses are inevitable in war. She began to feel responsible for the death of every single Rebel lost, because every person that died under her command died simply because they were following orders - her orders.

Being a general brings great responsibilities - something that she does not think Poe is quite ready for just yet. But she has no choice, of all the people aboard the Millennium Falcon; Poe is the only one that fits the bill. After just three days of living on the Falcon, Leia made up her mind and announced Poe’s promotion to everyone, leaving a shocked Poe rooted on his seat while others smiled and clapped his back in congratulations. After the initial shock Poe began to celebrate too, hugging as many people as possible. This was, after all, everything he ever wanted - a chance to lead the Resistance to defeat the First Order -  and now he has a greater chance of doing just that. Unbeknown to Poe, this promotion also meant that his days of flying and dogfighting were over, while a life of command awaited him. This news would be hard on Poe, but Leia still broke the news to the young pilot. Poe took it very reluctantly stating “I can still command from my X-Wing.”

This lead to their first discussion, with Leia telling Poe to forget about being a pilot, and Poe indignantly telling her that he will never stop being a pilot. This first discussion was less of a discussion and more of a ramble between colleges than anything, a ramble that sounded a lot like a discussion between mother and son. After a long discussion they managed to find a common ground. “How about this, I will agree to pilot my X-Wing only if the resistance truly needs me” Poe proposed to Leia, and she only agrees after stating that he would only pilot his ship after they had acquired more generals, who would be able to step in and take Poe’s place. Leia agreed to this not only because Poe is the Resistance’s best pilot, but also because Poe would much rather kiss a Rancor than no longer be able to fly. Poe was hot headed that way, in most pilots this was a bad thing but when it came to him, it was a strength.

At first Poe was thrilled to be a general, and followed Leia’s suggestions and teachings, but this barely lasted a few hours. After Leia told Poe her plan to hide away, gather their strength, and bide their time before taking up the fight against the First Order once more, Poe absolutely and outright rejected her plan. It had only been a few hours, and he already thought he knew what direction the Resistance should take. Leia wasn’t sure whether this was a good sign, or a sign of arrogance and brash decisions to come. Poe did agree with some of her ideas though, naturally he knew they would have to gather more forces. A handful of rebels could not take down the entire First Order, but he could not agree that they should ‘hide like children, and lick their wounds.’ ‘ _I knew this would happen’_ she thought to herself. Poe was, after all, a man of action, he would never have agreed to hide and recover. Leia privately commended his bravery, but she believed that his plan was foolish and would only lead to the destruction of the Resistance.

And that is how their next discussion began, it was a long and dragged out conversation that attracted the attention of the other occupants on the ship - not a hard thing to do on such a small craft. But soon everyone had joined in the conversation, even Rey who had been avoiding everyone was listening intently. Rose, who had only just woken up and was still healing was present. Leia was soon losing control of the situation and people were taking sides - most notably Finn who took Poe’s side, arguing that waiting would only allow the First Order to get stronger and cement the role of Kylo Ren as supreme leader. Leia flinched at hearing the name -  
there it was, the bantha in the room. Her son was now Supreme Leader. Leia didn't quite know yet, how she should feel about that news, which she received only the day before. Her son - or at least the son she knew - would never have wanted such a position. Leia remembered Ben cringing at the mere mention of her political work. Any conversation about the Senate she was helping to rebuild would bore him to tears, and Leia quickly learned to steer clear of any such topics around her son.  Leia suspected Ben secretly loathed the way her political duties would drag her away from him. And yet, there he was, taking the most powerful role in the galaxy, her son, the boy who hated the very mention of politics.

“The First Order is working to take control of everything, and the more time we give them the stronger their hold on the Galaxy will be. Don’t you see, the longer we wait, the harder it’s going to be to beat them!” Finn’s voice rang across the main hold, commanding their attention - no one thought to interrupt a hero of the republic. He earned the title, if not for what he did in Starkiller Base, then for his actions at Crait. And Leia wholeheartedly believes that he deserves the title of hero, but he can be just as hot headed as Poe.

Poe nodded in agreement; glad his friend was on his side. But unfortunately for him, and fortunately for Leia, Finn was not the only important member with an opinion. Rose, once a shy maintenance worker, has earned the respect of her fellow Resistance members after the Battle of Crait.  “But if we strike before we are ready they will easily destroy us. Don’t you understand? The First Order is not just a few battleships; they now control the entire galaxy! And even worse, a belief, regardless of how twisted that belief may be, will encourage people to gather under an ideology they will never stop fighting for. We need to take our time, and spread our own ideology and build a Resistance that people will want to join and fight for?” she said proudly, as a few people at the room were nodding their head in agreement and smiling. And it was then, that Leia decided to keep a closer eye on the woman who was once a simple maintenance worker, but has now become a fierce soldier and an important addition to the Resistance.

Finn and Poe were amazed at the woman’s fierce speech - this was a stark contrast to the meek, quiet woman that they met just a few days before. “As much as I agree with you Rose, hiding and waiting for the most opportune moment will not win us this war. I agree with what you said about the First Order being more than just battleships - they now have more political power and followers - but in the end their grip on the galaxy is only maintained through the power of their armada. The more time we give them, the more their grip will tighten” said Poe just as intensely as Rose gave her argument. And at Poe’s words, some of the other rebels - mainly the ones who did not react when Rose spoke - nodded their heads in agreement.

The divide in the conference room was making Leia nervous. Half the room was siding with Poe, and half the room with her. Leia had seen this sort of divide before in the Rebel Alliance and the New Republic. The senators of the Republic rarely agreed on anything, and this is what set them apart from the First Order. In a democracy there is rarely unanimous decision, and the First Order destroyed the New Republic in the belief that a single ruler would be more efficient at decision-making. Leia had never seen the strength of having one ruler; if anything it is a weakness. A single, selfish dictator often had little reason to balance the needs of the many - especially if that dictator turned out to be a Sith Lord. No, division is good; it gives everyone a chance to express their ideas and work together towards a greater goal. But it is frustrating at times, and in this scenario division will not help - not when they should be as united as possible. Leia knows that she needs to do something to unite the Resistance - that is if the Resistance will have any hopes to thrive once more.

“Poe, Finn I know that both of you would like to finish this conflict as soon as possible - we all do. I, more than anyone, want this; I spent my younger years fighting the Empire and I gave up so much for the New Republic only for my efforts to be crushed by the First Order - a bunch of Empire wannabes.” A few people chuckled at her choice of words, agreeing with her.

“I have given and lost so much to this war, and you know what I learned from this?” Everyone in the room went silent, now barely moving, and eager to hear what this Hero of the Rebellion had to say.

“I learned that no matter how much we fight the darkness, or how much we put in to our cause, darkness will always rise up” she said softly, and everyone stayed rooted to their spot in shock. Was the General - the Legend of the Republic - giving up? No, it couldn’t be, they all reassured themselves. Even Rey was looking at the older and wiser woman, giving her her whole attention. Leia, feeling the young woman watching her, turned her head to look at Rey, who was watching her intently with wide eyes. Leia knew that out of everyone present, Rey would best understand what Leia is saying, because what she said is something only a force sensitive would truly understand.

She had to pick her words carefully, because whatever she said next could change the people present at the meeting, and maybe even the Resistance as a whole. This is another responsibility of a general, her words aren’t empty. They matter a great deal, especially to those that look up to her.

“The darkness will always be there. If it isn’t ruling over the light, it’s biding its time to strike back. There will always be bad guys, but it’s up to us to drive them back. The darkness is strong, and will always be strong, but so is the light. I promise you that in time, the light will always prevail. We once defeated the Empire, which had a much stronger hold on the galaxy than the First Order now has, and I believe that if we did it once, we can do it again” Leia said this with confidence, and some people were nodding at her words in agreement. Rey looked up at the older woman, with softer eyes and a small smile on her face.

Leia gave Rey her own little smile, before turning her head away to look at the new - and much younger - general. Poe looked at her with a small smile on his handsome face. Leia knew that this didn’t mean that he agreed with her, but rather that he was showing her a sign of respect, despite not agreeing with her decision.

Leia gently put one hand on Poe’s shoulder. “Poe, the darkness will always be there and maybe given time they will become stronger but right now, the First Order is immensely more powerful than us. We also need to gain that strength in order to face them, by doing this we are not cowards or running away from conflict but becoming stronger. The First Order took their time to amass enough forces to come out of hiding and strike the Republic, and we need to do the same” she said softly, feeling sour from comparing them to the First Order. These words were meant for Poe, but everyone in the Falcon heard them.

Poe wiped his smile and looked away. Slightly uncomfortable, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being berated like a child. If he didn’t have so much respect for the women in front of her, or consider her to be like a mother to him, then he would probably have told her to stop treating him that way. But out of everyone in the room, Leia had the most firsthand experience with what they were discussing. And still, he couldn’t fully agree with her decision.

“General… Leia, I understand everything you’re saying, but I just don’t agree with letting time go by while they get stronger.” Poe said, desperate to convince her to change her perspective. Leia looked away from him, knowing that their discussion will drag on, and in the process no decision will get made. Still, she remained firmly rooted to her decision and wasn’t ready to back down.

“But”, continued Poe, “I can promise you that I will give the Resistance time enough to grow. This maybe months or years but-.” At this, Leia looked back at him, relieved that they were finally reaching a common ground “- once I see that the Resistance is strong enough, we will strike the First Order and end their rule.” He said this with a broad smile gracing his lips, happy to see that Leia was finally agreeing with him.

Poe looked everyone in the eyes, one by one. Finn was looking at him expectantly, and Rose was unsure. Rey, on the other hand, looked at him with knowing eyes, and others were looking at him with eagerness. “I just want to say to everyone present, that while we have had a rough three days and we are all still shaken after Crait, that no matter how few our numbers are now, I am glad to serve under each and every one of you! Each of us, whether they are a pilot, a maintenance worker, a soldier, a princess, or even a Stormtrooper turned rebel or a scavenger turned Jedi” he said, smiling at Finn and Rey, who both smiled back at him. Everyone began to hoot and stand up in excitement. “No matter who we are or where we come from, we will fight together - and I promise you, we will be the spark that that will light the fire that will burn the first order down!” he said strongly, and everyone was now standing and cheering, but they soon quietened when they noticed that Poe wasn’t finished with his speech just yet.

“And I promise this, all of you. As soon as we gain our strength, and become the Resistance we once were, we are striking the First Order. And we will make them hurt, we will fight them until the galaxy is freed from their rule! And even if it takes us years, we will not stop! We will prevail! I swear to you the Republic will rule again!”

Everyone in the small room shouted in agreement, and with pride. Poe looked at Leia with a large smile upon his face. Leia simply rolled her eyes at Poe’s antics, and quietly applauded his little speech, not being able to get as riled up as some of the younger members.

Finn came up behind Poe and hugged him tightly, lifting him to the air for just a few seconds. That was enough to make Poe yelp in surprise! In that small moment, Leia is as proud of Poe as if he is her own son. She knows he has come to learn his first lesson as a general - ‘your words have power, and they can be used to bring people together, or destroy them’.

Still, Leia couldn’t help but feel empty; wishing that she could be feeling the same pride for her true son, if only it were was possible. She turned away from the happy group, which is calming down but eagerly exchanging ideas, knowing that they had every right to be excited - they had, after all, grown up hearing the stories of how the Rebellion was formed and how it brought down the Empire, and now they had a chance to see a part of history being made with their own eyes.

As Leia walked away from the group, no one seemed to notice her absence or her dampened mood. Leia leaned on a tall barrel by the wall, and she looked at the ground with eyes that were clouded with memories. She hated herself for thinking of Ben at a time of celebration, knowing her emotions are surely being wasted. ‘ _He probably doesn’t even miss me’_ she thought to herself. He had fired on her during the battle, and had it not been for the Force, she would have died. How could he ignore the fact that she is his mother, and attempt to kill her? She could not fathom how, but then, he did also kill his own father. Leia silently groaned when Han made his way into her head, now her spirits were completely dampened.

Leia looked at the group in an attempt to raise her spirits again by looking at their excitement. But as she looked at them, she noticed that there is another member who is not engaged with the rest of the group.

Rey was the only one not talking to anyone, with a smile still plastered on her face. Rey looked back at Leia with those same knowing eyes she had when Luke had died.

Leia knew the death of Han was hard on Rey, and that much like her, she could not understand why Ben had done it. But Leia could sense another emotion in the young Jedi through the force. She was immensely hurt. Betrayal - and a hint of hesitance - was surrounding her conscience. Leia could not understand why Rey was feeling this way. Even when Han had died, she still had that air of hope and happiness humming through her, but that was gone. It couldn’t have been brought about by the death of Luke - no Rey was, after all, very accepting of Luke’s passing. Something must have happened; something Leia was not privy of, something horrible enough to make her feel like her world had shattered in two.

Seeing Leia’s questioning eyes Rey’s eyes widened and looked away from the older woman, closing her mind tightly shut. Leia realized that she was looking at Rey’s emotions, and she had no right to do so. She felt guilty, but Leia had never been taught on the ways of the Force, and things like this tended to happen once in a while. Finn was the only one to notice Rey’s discomfort, and he assuredly placed an arm around her, softly asking what was wrong. Leia couldn’t hear Rey’s answer, but she gave Finn a small smile, and turned to look at Poe. Poe had the same worried eyes as Finn, but Rey smiled assuredly back at Poe, before walking out of the room without saying another word.

Leia watched as Poe questioned Finn as to what was bothering Rey, but he knew as little as Poe. Leia eavesdropped as they discussed Rey’s stranger behaviour, and how she was separating herself from them. ‘ _So I wasn’t the only one who noticed her strange behaviour._ _The others feel it to, and it bothers them as much as it was does me’._

In time, the others left the room, leaving Poe, Finn and Rose behind. The trio briefly talked about Rey, before moving on to their future plans. Rose remained the voice of reason at every turn. After their discussion, they too left the room, not noticing that the older general was left in the room to ponder.


	2. A Jedi in name only

 

 

It was cold and damp in the cramped crew room of the Millennium Falcon. The room was tightly packed with five beds and a small compartment for personal items. Various mats lay on the ground, and bags were neatly stacked by the wall in a desperate attempt to make more space.

This room had been designated as the women’s quarters by General Leia. At “night-time”, when everyone would go to the room to rest, they were canned together. The lack of space was so horrible that it had become suffocating for most. For this reason, the female residents of the Falcon would only go to the room when they had to sleep or get personal belongings. No one that called the room their designated sleeping space wanted to be inside the packed room longer than they had to be, all except for one person, of course.

 

Having taken advantage of the others aversion to the room, Rey had taken it as her own personal domain - a place to escape the crowded ship during the days. To most, she appeared to spend most of her time seating on her bed, staring at empty space deep in her own valley of thoughts. In fact, she was meditating on the Force - something which she was finding quite frustrating. She had quickly come to the annoying realization that meditating at Ahch-To - a planet full of life and deeply rooted with the Force - was much different to meditating in a ship floating through empty space, that had much less connection to the Force.

 

The lack of connection to the Force space provides had given Rey an empty, and suffocating feeling - more so than the room she slept in. She didn’t understand how the others withstood it. Their only discomfort was that they have little space of their own, did they not feel the lack of presence the Force has in the ship? _‘But of course they don’t feel it. You didn’t feel it before you knew you were force sensitive_ ’ thought Rey. And she knew she couldn’t really blame them, they were not Force sensitive like her. Only another Force Sensitive would understand the feeling. _‘How does Ben stand it?’_ Angry at the thought Rey shook her head, upset that her thought process had gone down a path she hated. She had promised herself to not think about him in a desperate attempt to keep her sane, because the sadness and disappointment was eating at her. Not only was it her thoughts of him that were the ones doing that to her, but also his emotions that Ben shared with her through the Force bond.

 

These emotions of frustration, slight peace, sadness and immense anger and pain were not her own. Rey knew this because the emotions felt weird and wrong, like a ghostly maelstrom of emotions in her mind. These feelings were like a raging flame, and Rey had never felt anything like that before.

 

Rey had first begun to feel these emotions during the first night aboard the Falcon; she remembered lying down on her bed awake as everyone else slept. She was restless, she was still thinking about what had happened; her mind still trying to process what had transpired. It was then that her mind was the most open, and the emotions came barrelling in as if they had been suppressed by a dam that was now broken.

 

Rey had stood up in shock and her breath was laboured, her face was slick with sweat. Needing to stretch out her limbs, Rey left the packed room as silently as possible, and made her way to the main hold of the ship. She hoped that no one would be around the area and she desperately needed to be alone. The male occupants would not be around this area at this time, since they were all sleeping at the equipment room.

 

Rey shakily made her way to the round table, seating herself on the soft and worn out booth. She stared at the table, trying to make sense of what was happening to her. No matter how hard she tried, it had become too difficult to even think with the raging sea of emotions battering her mind. Hours - or minutes - she wasn’t quite sure - ticked by. Finally, the sea began to calm down slightly, and Rey could think clearly again. The first thing she did was try to make sense of the ghost emotions invading her mind. She explored the emotions, and found that they were dominated by anger, fear, and a sense of confusion mirroring her own, as well as intrigue.

 

Rey wasn’t an idiot; she knew that those blazing emotions could only belong to one person  out of billions upon billions in the galaxy. She had only ever felt such raw and powerful emotions in one man - Kylo Ren. Rey hastily and fearfully attempted to close the bond they both shared, but she found she was unable to.

 

She was able to do so after Crait - she knew this because she had felt disconnected from him. So why couldn’t she now? To her annoyance she could feel amusement coming from Ben, and she knew he was making fun of her for trying to close the bond and trying to hide from him. Now more annoyed and frustrated than scared, Rey used everything she had to close the pestering bond and shut him up. To her surprise it actually worked! She hadn’t completely blocked him off, but at least she could not longer feel Ben’s emotions as easily as she felt her own. Rather, Ben’s emotions were more like a small afterthought.

 

The next day, Rey woke up disappointed that she could still feel Ben’s emotions. Annoyed that she was unable to completely silence the man’s emotion, she managed to work herself up into a storm of emotion. The more frustrated and angry she got at her current predicament, the more amused Ben became. The infuriating man could still make her blood run hot, light years away with just a hiss of his emotions and this only caused Rey to become more frustrated.

 

The days of being able to feel Ben’s emotions had been a complete nightmare. Wherever she went, and whatever she did, she could feel Ben’s anger seeping into her. It was affecting her so much that when Poe had greeted her, she had snapped at him and left the room angrily. The last thing she saw of him was the shocked face of the pilot as she went to find a more private room. This was not to be the last time she would snap at somebody, she was losing her temper at every turn and every time she acted upon the anger, she quickly regretted it. There came a point when Rey thought that if she didn’t block Ben’s emotions completely, then she was going to start wearing a dark cloak and start taking out her anger on innocent furniture like a moody teenager! As time went she was becoming and more desperate, so much so that she tried to beg Ben to leave her alone through sheer use of emotions. But the infuriating man brushed her emotions aside with amusement, and she knew then and there that Ben was taking pleasure in knowing that he was making her life a living hell.

 

It was on the fourth day, after their discussion with Poe and Leia, that the emotions quite abruptly disappeared. She didn’t know why or how it happened but she finally felt at peace. Free of the intruder in her mind, her mind finally felt like her own again - yet she couldn’t shake the feeling of emptiness. In the last three days she had become used to the presence in her mind, and a small part of her felt like she had learnt to cope and live with it - so when Ben left her mind, she shivered slightly. This empty feeling only lasted for a little while as she began to wonder why the connection was cut. She had a feeling that this was not Ben’s doing - he was having too much fun annoying her to simply stop. So what had stopped the connection?

 

When she looked through the Force for answers, she found none. It felt strangely like it did every time Ben and Rey spoke back at Ahch-To, like whatever was connecting them had simply disappeared. Rey figured that it might be due to Snoke breaking their connection, but Snoke was dead. So why was she still connected to Ben? Why does the Force have to be so complex and annoyingly frustrating? Why can’t the Force simply state its intent? It certainly would have saved a lot of people from pointless pain and suffering. This was just another thing to add to her bucket of disappointment when it came to the Force.

 

Oh, that bucket was full, and she knew that this might shock a few people in the Resistance. Rey wasn’t a big supporter of the Force - wasn’t that just great? The only person in the galaxy that can bring the Jedi Order back isn’t even a true believer of the Force? Rey was sure she could hear the wails of ancient Jedi Masters cry in despair.

 

She had tried to believe in the Force the way Luke did, she truly did. But she soon found out that even Ben, a darksider, had more faith in the Force. So why couldn’t she? At first she blamed the fact that, unlike Ben, she wasn’t raised in an environment where the Force was everything. She had grown up on Jakku, where there were only a handful of people who followed the religion; while Ben was raised with a Jedi Master for an uncle. Of course Ben’s faith in the Force would be much stronger than hers.

 

But then she remembered that Luke, the epitome of what a Jedi should be, had a similar upbringing to hers - although maybe not as horrible and lonely.  Leia had told Rey that Luke grew up on Tatooine, a place full of crime and people that are too busy trying to make a buck than follow a religion that was long dead. Yet Luke had still managed to put all of his faith in the Force, and performed incredible feats through it, so why couldn’t Rey?

 

If Rey was completely honest with herself, she suspected she knew why she couldn’t completely give herself to the Force as Ben and Luke did. No matter how much she wanted to say otherwise, she knew the reason was because the Force had let her down time and time again. When she was on Jakku the Force never helped her overcome the difficulties she faced. She had to teach herself how to survive, not once feeling the all-powerful Force help her. And when she finally left Jakku, it was Finn who rescued her from the damn place, not the Force. It was Han Solo who taught her that she could have a bigger purpose in life than being a simple scavenger. And it was she who found Luke, not the Force. When she fought Kylo Ren, and later on, the praetorian guards, she was merely using the Force - but the Force was not truly there for her like it had been with Luke. She never once felt like Luke did when he fought Ben at Crait - like he was at peace as the Force flowed through him and Luke became one with the Force. The feeling of peace and serenity was so strong she had felt it all the way from the Falcon. Even Ben managed to do something similar when he killed Snoke, not as completely as Luke, but certainly more than Rey had ever been able to.

Rey couldn’t help feel like she was worthless. Not only did her own parents not want her, but the all-encompassing Force had also abandoned her. The Force had not just left her, but also gave her a connection she didn’t want. She had once been glad to have the connection, like when she and Ben touched hands, or when they had fought side-by-side, their mind barriers gone, connected as if they have been meant to be that way. She thought then that the Force had finally done something good for her, but then Ben turned away from her. Rey felt utterly betrayed - she thought she understood him, but she was completely wrong. Ben will never leave the dark, he didn’t when Han begged him to, and he wouldn’t when she asked him to. So when she last saw him on Crait, she shut herself from him completely. Well, at least she thought she had closed the bond completely, but the Force had betrayed her again and bridged their minds together once more.

 

Rey was so caught up in her owns thoughts that she barely noticed a soft knock at her door. She really didn’t want to talk to anyone at the moment, but she knew it wasn’t healthy to keep everything bottled up inside of her. She also felt bad for her friends who were worrying about her.

 

So Rey pulled herself from her bed and walked over the countless items that litter the ground, not wanting to step on anything important. She opened the door, already knowing who it would be.

Finn was standing on the other side of the door, wearing a dark gray shirt underneath the Resistance jacket Poe had given him. Rey noticed that the usual smile that marked his face whenever he saw her was gone, replaced by an expression of worry. Rey felt her stomach tighten, knowing that Finn had been worrying about her for days.

 

After Crait, Rey had barely spoken with Finn. Finn, understanding her need for space, didn’t push her. He had a vague idea as to what happened at the Supremacy - Rey had told him that Kylo Ren killed Snoke, and that Kylo Ren fought together with Rey against the praetorian guards.

 

Finn found all this hard to believe. He knew what kind of man Kylo Ren was, and he would never fight alongside Rey. But Finn wasn’t going to tell her this, so he didn’t question her. Given Rey’s recent mood and odd behaviour, he was sure that there were things she wasn’t telling them, things that were digging at her very being. Finn couldn’t stop himself from feeling like a failure. He was Rey’s friend, if there was something bothering her she should not hesitate to tell him or seek his help. He would never see her any differently or treat her any other way, no matter how bad said secrets are. But Finn knew he shouldn’t push her, she needed her space and she would tell him when she was ready.

 

“Huh, hey Rey” he said. It really had been a long while since they had spoken, so much so that he was acting just as unsure as he did on the day he meet her on Jakku. It was no secret that Finn had a bit of a crush on the beautiful Jedi-in-training, and Poe hadn’t wasted a chance to tease him. Poe had told him to make his move countless times, but Finn didn’t want to make their relationship uncomfortable - especially if she didn’t feel the same way about him. Finn was certain she didn’t.

 

Rey simply smiled, a rare sight to see these days. Finn’s cheeks flushed with red. “Hello Finn”. Finn looked away from her, hoping she wouldn’t notice his blushed face, “I hum, know you don’t want to be disturbed Rey, but Poe and Leia are asking for you” He stared intently at the wall, not wanting to meet her beautiful eyes. Rey nodded, and Finn moved away from the door, allowing her to pass by and head to the main hold, which was now the designated area for discussion.

 

Rey walked through the ship, with Finn closely behind her. A couple of people they passed along the way stopped to look at the last Jedi in awe. She had been the one to save them all at Crait after all, and if the others saw Finn and Rose as heroes then they saw Rey as a monument to the Resistance. She was the last of the Jedi, and some believe, the only person that could stop Kylo Ren and end the war. Rey, uncomfortable with the way the others look at her, turned her head away from their gaze. Finn, noticing her discomfort, put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry Rey, they are only staring because they see you as a hero. You did save us all at Crait.” he said cheerfully, trying to reassure her. Without looking at him, Rey shook her head “I’m no hero, all I did was lift a few rocks.” Rey increased her speed to get to the main hold as quickly as possible. Finn sighed and matched her speed.

 

When they finally reached the main hold, they found it to be largely empty. Both generals Leia and Poe, as well as Rose, were seated on chairs that were taken from the cargo bay. They sat alongside a large round table. Rey found this strange, usually when they had a discussion everyone was always present. Even when Leia tells them that it was a private discussion, most of the Resistance members would still stay behind, given everything that happened they felt entitled to know what was going on. So when Rey entered the room followed by Finn, and the door close softly behind them she was confused and a bit unsure. Whatever was being discussed today was either too sensitive or too important for the others to hear. And only a few topics came to mind.

 

Leia stood up seeing her expression, and gave her a reassuring smile. “Hello Rey, I hope we didn’t disturb you. Trust me we wouldn’t have done so if it wasn’t of the utmost importance. What we need to discuss today involves you, and we felt that it would be quite rude to not include you.” Rey looked around the room, and saw Poe smiling at her reassuringly. He gestured for her to seat at a vacated chair beside him. Rey doesn’t really want to be there, but discussing anything but the topic that was to be discussed seemed to be too important for Rey to simply excuse herself and walk away. She was a Jedi now, attending meetings was going to be an important and constant part of her life and she might as well get used to it.

 

“Don’t worry General, I wasn’t really doing anything important. I’m glad you want me to attend this meeting.” she said with a professional air she didn’t know she had. Rey could feel Finn letting out a breath she didn’t know he was holding, and Leia’s smile broadened and her shoulders slacked. Leia gestured to the seat Poe had offered her. “I am glad, please take your seat. You too Finn, we are about to begin.”

 

Finn sat on the other side of Poe next to Rose, and Rey took her seat between both generals. The air that surrounded the group is one of uncertainty, and no one was quite sure how to start. So after a moment Poe broke the uncomfortable silence. “As some of you may already know, we are meeting today to discuss a topic we haven’t talked about since the battle of Crait. A topic that doesn’t need to be decided upon today, but one that needs to be discussed.” Rey, now intrigued, leaned further into the table in front of her. “There is no other way to put this, but Rey, you are now the last Jedi since Luke died. Now we all know that you have been having a tough time since the battle - we all are. But we really need to talk about what your plans are regarding the Jedi Order.”

 

Rey wasn’t surprised that this was the topic they wanted to talk about. Leia stared at Rey, trying to give her a reassuring look. Rey didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t really come up with a plan for the Jedi Order. She knew everyone expected her to form the Order once more, but how? Seeing her doubts and discomfort, Finn jumped in to save her. “Well Poe, it’s only been five days. I’m sure Rey doesn’t have a finite answer to what to do about the Jedi Order, I don’t think anyone does.”

 

“That’s true buddy, and I don’t expect Rey to know what exactly to do about the Jedi Order. Heck, if I was in your position I would be a jumbled mess trying to figure out an answer.” Poe smiled at Rey and continued. “All I want to know is what you think about the whole Jedi Order, and what your possible plans for it are.”

  
Rey couldn’t help but open up to the man, he really was quite a charmer. “Well, like Finn said, I haven’t really thought about it in too much depth. I know I am the last Force user that isn’t currently controlled by the First Order, and this makes me important to the Resistance.” Finn opened his mouth to retort and tell her that her powers aren’t the only reason she mattered to the Resistance, but Rey cut him off. “I understand that because of the Force, I am a highly important asset and maybe I could one day bring back the Jedi Order. But I just want to let everyone know, so that they are not disappointed later.” She paused for a moment, trying to find the words for what she was going to say next. “I am no Jedi general; I only had three lessons with Master Luke and I don’t really know what a Jedi should be. How can I bring back the Jedi Order if I don’t even know the basics of what a Jedi is?” she asked.

 

Poe shuffled around his seat. “Well Rey, it is true your incredible strength in the force is important to us. But you are also a great pilot Rey, and I gotta say if I ever find myself flying beside you against the First Order, I would be glad that I have a highly competent pilot by my side. And Finn told me you lived on Jakku your whole life and barely even touched a ship!” he says incredibly.

“Rey, we may not know each other, but from what I know about you is that you are the type of person that finds ways to do things. And no matter how difficult your obstacles are you always manage. You managed to fly the Falcon by yourself, heck, you even fought supreme bastard Kylo Ren!” continued Poe. Finn chuckled at his nickname to the darksider.

 

“You don’t have be a fancy Jedi master with flashy robes and a lightsaber to make a difference. Just look at Kylo Ren, he was once a Jedi with flashy robes and a lightsaber, he had everything going for him. Son of Princess Leia Organa and Commander Han Solo, and nephew to one of the most legendary Jedi Masters the galaxy has ever seen. And look at what he has become.”  Rey saw Leia shifting around her seat at the mention of her son’s name.

 

“What I mean is that he had all of that, and look where that got him. No, the new Jedi council needs a leader that has none of that, not that I’m saying your attire is bad or anything” Poe chuckled at his own joke.

 

“What the galaxy needs right now is someone that stands up for what she believes in, and isn’t scared to make mistakes along the way. And moreso, someone who isn’t scared to face challenges either. That person is you, Rey. So apart from you saying that you are not worthy or ready to lead the new generation of Jedi, why else would you not want to?”

  
Rey leaned back in her chair, not comfortable to be the centre on attention. “I admit I’m scared to make the same mistake other Jedi have made in the past. What if I drive someone to the dark side, it happened to Master Luke and he knew what he was doing. I guess I’m just scared to make another Kylo Ren, that I’m not ready for such a responsibility” Rey said softly. Leia opened her mouth as if to say something, but Rey got in before her.

 

“I’m not saying that I won’t do it, but please give me time to learn more about the Force. Because right now I’m too confused about the Force to be teaching anyone about it, much less how to wield it.” Rey was giving Leia a new way to respect her every day. Rey could accept her own weakness and her need to grow.

 

“I understand completely Rey, and I never expected you to go and create your own Jedi Order without first learning more about the Force yourself.” Leia put her hand on Rey’s.

 

“Unfortunately, there are other matters to discuss apart from what you plan to do about forming the Jedi Order” she says as she took her hand away, leaving Rey with a cold feeling. Leia looked toward Poe as if to tell him to take the lead once more, which he didn’t question or falter with.

 

“Like the General said, there are other important matters at hand and they all revolve around Kylo Ren, who has taken the role of Supreme Leader of the First Order” Poe announced.  Upon hearing the darksider’s name, everyone tensed. “Now our biggest target before was Snoke, but thanks to Rey and, surprisingly, Kylo Ren too we no longer have to worry about him.

 

Unfortunately for us this hasn’t stopped the First Order. From what little intel we have gathered, we can see that the First Order has only gotten more vicious and prone to violence, thanks to their new leader. Without the Resistance, the First Order has gotten out of control, unchallenged and unafraid of anything.” He said, hitting the table lightly with his fist.

 

“We thought that with the death of Snoke the First Order would suffer, unsure about their new leader. But we were wrong. Kylo Ren has made sure that his rule is not questioned by others and he has made a mockery of the political systems of various planets. Kylo has become a beacon to all First Order members and supporters. The whole galaxy fears him and nobody can stop him.” said Poe with a hint of anger. Leia took the opportunity to speak now.

 

“The galaxy is in chaos. People are bending their knee to the First Order because they are too afraid to stand against the new Supreme Leader” said Leia, unwilling to say her son’s name, not wanting to acknowledge him as the man he had become. Thankfully no one calls her out on it and she continued.

 

“It has only been five days, but the First Order is moving fast. And we have heard that any planet that does not bend to the Order’s rule is quickly made an example of. They have found a new purpose for their vast military power” said Leia with disgust. Rose was no longer able to stay quiet.

 

“You mean they are turning their weapons on our people? General, you have not mentioned this before.” she said, disturbed that the people that had put their faith in the Resistance, were now the ones paying the price for their failure. Rose felt sick.

 

“I suspected this would happen. We only just confirmed it via holo news, so our information may not be accurate. But they are not just turning their weapons on their enemies - they are even firing on their supporters.. We have heard that tension is high in the core planets, especially Coruscant, where known rebel sympathizers are being imprisoned or worse” she said sadly, ashamed that their own friends and supporters were being punished. Finn scoffs in disgust, unable to believe that he once used to belong to such an Order.

 

“The leading political powers are much too scared to stand up against the Supreme Leader, fearing both his military might, and his skills in the force.” continued Leia. She noticed that Rey was no longer looking at her, instead looking at the far wall with a sad expression on her face.

What they didn’t know was that Rey wasn’t just feeling sadness, but also great pain and regret. She can’t help but feel responsible for what was happening, how could she not? If she had been stronger, and her own morals hadn’t gotten in the way, she would have killed Ben when she had the chance on the Supremacy. Maybe then, none of this would have happened.

 

 Poe said “The galaxy needs the Resistance, now more than ever. But they need more than just a military power to stand up to the First Order; they need a beacon. Someone that they can rally behind. Someone that can stand toe to toe against Kylo Ren, someone that they can look up to in this time of need.” Poe focused his gaze on Rey’s face. Rey, noticing everyone looking at her again, turned away from the wall. Upon looking at everyone’s hopeful expressions, the realization hit her.

 

They wanted her to be their new beacon of light; they wanted her to be the poster-child of the new Resistance. She was just a nobody from Jakku, and at the realization Rey couldn’t help but gulp loudly.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so technically this chapter is part of a monster chapter that I will be broken in three different chapters. I know kind of annoying, but I promise that these chapters are important and will help get the story going.
> 
> And like before I like to thank my betas, for editing my horrendous writing.
> 
> Also, if you guys would like to follow me on tumblr, and hang out there you can follow me inswhitefang. I do draw some fan art for my fan fictions and I post them there, so if anyone is interested you are welcome to visit me there.


	3. The ancient Jedi text

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit of a short chapter, but it doesn’t make it any less important. 
> 
> so please read and enjoy

 

            In her life, Rey had seen and heard of things that have shocked her; she isn’t very old and her experiences are not as broad- but she has seen many things that many people in the galaxy have not seen. Because of this, she had not been subjected to shock very often, but to say that she is shocked now is an understatement.

 

They- Leia, Poe, Finn, and Rose want her to be the new face of the resistance- her, a nobody? Why would they? Sure she is force sensitive, and the perfect individual to bring down Kylo Ren. In fact she completely understands their reasoning- truly she does, but she is still shocked by it.

 

She sat on her chair, looking at the three other members in the room, stunned. And Finn, who saw her shocked expression, graved her hand worriedly. “Rey? Are you ok?” he asked, gripping her hand tightly.

 

Rey shook her head in response; trying to snap out of her daze, and looked into the face of a worried Finn. “Yea I’m fine, just a bit shocked that you want me as the poster-child of the resistance is all.” She gave him a fake smile to reassure him, but Finn was clearly not buying it, so he keeps his hand in place.

 

“I’m sorry to bring this down on you Rey; I know it’s a big responsibility. Everyone will look at you differently, and treat you differently too. But what I have seen in the last five days, is that the others are already treating you this way, and this is only going to get worse as the resistance gets bigger, and bigger” Said Poe, trying to reassure her.

 

Poe and Finn, it seems; were not the only ones who notices her stunned expression. After seeing her shock Leia also, jumped in to assure her. “Rey, we are not going to parade you around the Resistance. We don’t really need to do that, others already see you as a beacon of hope and power- to take this away from them would cause horrible consequences. I am not asking you, to become a warrior, and fight Ben. Rey… all I simply ask of you, is to give the others hope.”

 

As Rey listened to Leia’s words, she knew that the words were meant to make her amicable to the idea. And she tries to see the comfort in them, but she can’t help, but feel like her words sound more like orders, than words meant to comfort her.

 

Naturally, after Leia spoke; Poe had his own thoughts on the matter, and he voiced them with confidence. “To be honest, you are what we need, to be able to stand a chance against the First Order. No one else in this room can take out Kylo Ren- not Finn, not Leia or Rose, or me. Only you can do this Rey, so I am asking you to fight with us and bring, an end to the darkness.”

 

Rey turned her gaze, from Poe to Leia, considering both. Of course both Generals, had their own goals, and plans. It’s clear that both generals want her for their own cause- it is a good cause of course, and they are only thinking of what’s best for the resistance and the galaxy as a whole. And Rey knew that if she was in their shoes, she too would have made the same decision. She too, would pit her very own force user against her enemies. And yet she can’t help but feel like she is being used; that despite their reassuring words-what they really wanted is for her, to help them with the war and this saddened her. ‘ _Everyone has their own agendas.’_

“Poe how many times do I have to tell you, that we are not going to go, and confront the entire First Order? I thought we had agreed on that. Rey doesn’t need, and should not be treated like a soldier of the resistance, she needs to train, and find her way in the force. ” She said, clearly annoyed at the younger General, who turned from Rey to face her.

 

“I’m sorry, but don’t you see what is happening around you?” He responded, and he was visibly getting angry at Leia, and this made the other uncomfortable. 

 

“The First Order has their very own force sensitive leader at their side, and unless Rey helps us, there is very little we will be able to do against them. Or have you forgotten what your son - Kylo Ren is more than capable of.” Said Poe, his voice getting slightly louder as he spoke.

 

His response leaves the room in silence; they were all shocked at the pilot’s words. It was after all, an unsaid rule, that referring to Kylo Ren’s relation to Leia, was taboo among the Resistance. Even Finn- who had very little time in the Resistance- knew this.

 

Of course, Leia was asking for it in a way, she had been treating Poe like a hot-headed child ever since he became a General. And it was only a matter of time until he would snap, Poe was not known for his tolerance after all.

 

They had all seen this coming, but it was still a shock when it happened. Both Leia, and Poe are generally very respectful of one another even during their discussion. Not to mention, that they have a relationship that resembles that of mother, and son.

 

They were all in shock, even Leia, she had not expected him to snap at her. But she does not remain that way, for very long, and she quickly snaps out of it. “Poe Dameron, do not presume my lack of action as a weakness, or the actions of a frail old women that has forgotten the pains of the past. I am more than aware of what my son is, and what he has done. And if you think reminding me will make me change my mind, and agree to your plan to turn Rey into a warrior of the resistance-you are mistaken.” She said with a berating tone; and clearly angry and disappointed at Poe. And for a second, Poe looked ashamed that he had spoken that way, to the woman that was like a mother figure to him.

 

And for a second he falters, with his conviction. But like Leia, he waves his shame away needing to stand his ground, on the matter. “Leia this is war, and as much as I wish we didn’t have to turn anyone into anything, we have little choice…Ok even if we lay low, and Rey trains as a Jedi what then?” he asks but he doesn’t let Leia answer.

 

“All that training, and all that preparation must be used eventually; you are just prolonging the inevitable general. War has only just begun, and in war there are battles. All I want is to protect those who follow us and believe in us Leia.”

 

They all heard Poe’s sadness in his words, and it made their heart clench. Of course, no one knew more than Leia- that Poe wants the conflict to end, more than anything. He has been in the battle against the first Order, since he was a young boy, and he had to go through terrible things because of that. If there is anyone that wants this war to end- it is Poe, so Leia understands why he wanted to act so brashly.

 

Leia takes a deep breath calming herself down, she knew that screaming at Poe will not help her in any way. “Poe we will fight against the First Order, you must have patience-“she tried to say before Poe cut her off.

 

“Patience for what Leia? For the First Order to find us, and destroy us? Every single plan you have come up with, leads to inaction. It has almost been a week, and yet we are not one step closer to resolving our problems!”

 

Poe’s voice rings through the room, and if everyone was shocked before, now they are absolutely bewildered. The generally easygoing Pilot had never lost his temper before, and it made them all uneasy.

 

“Poe calm down” said Finn gently, not wanting him to snap at him too. Thankfully Poe does not snap at him, and instead looks around the room. He looks at everyone as if; he had forgotten they were even there. And when he sees everyone’s shocked expressions, Poe takes a deep breath to calm himself down.

 

“look I’m sorry Leia I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just that seeing the First Order doing the things that they are doing, while we do nothing reminds me of-“ He stops himself, before he finishes the sentence, and closed his eyes in pain. He did not want to continue, and he hated himself for that. Why can’t he just let go of the past?

 

Once again, the room is shrouded in silence; no one really knew how to help the Pilot. And Finn was about to jump in, and help his friend, but he was stopped on his track.

 

Poe had thought it would be Finn, who would comfort him and give him uplifting words. But when he feels, a gentle hand on his- his eyes snapped open. He looks at the owner, of the hand which turned out to be Leia, and he sees her knowing and saddened eyes. “It’s ok Poe, we will do something about this” she said gently, and filled with hope.

 

At her words, Poe’s eyes widened slightly in wonder at her hope. This woman who has been withered by age- has seen the fall of an empire, and has been through two wars. This women who has lost people, and things Poe could never come to imagine; was still filled with hope, and giving that hope to others.

 

It made him wonder, how she can lose her whole family, and see her one and only son-the only thing she has left-turn into a monster, and still have hope. Anyone in this room would have lost hope a long time ago, he certainly would have given up. But not Leia she, and her conviction are made of harder stuff. And Poe couldn’t understand how it was possible, he truthfully did not understand, but he knew right then and there that- this is the general he would like to be.

 

Poe straightens his back, regaining his composure, and he addresses everyone in the room “I’m sorry everyone I didn’t mean to snap. It has been a tough five days for all of us, but that doesn’t give me leeway to snap at you, and I am sorry.” At his words, Finn nods in understanding, and Rose and Rey look at him with forgiving eyes.

 

“And general, I will not go back on my word. I told you I will wait to regain our forces, and that we will wait until we have a base built. I was angry so I wasn’t thinking before I spoke, but my promise still stands.” He said looking at Leia apologetically, and she simply nods at him. She had already forgiven him, after all.

 

“That being said, I don’t agree in having Rey train, and not be part of the military. I can assure you, that the First Order will not hesitate to use Kylo Ren if the need arises.” He said still looking at Leia, not even looking at Rey when he said those words.

 

Rey snaps her head to look at Poe with a hint of anger. She was getting tired of everyone speaking about her future as if she isn’t right there, as if she is a mere tool for the resistance to use. She had always been an independent person, she had to be to survive in Jakku; and having people plan out her life was simply not going to happen.

 

“General, I think you have forgotten that this is still my choice. And you should know that, if I do agree and become your perfect warrior for the resistance, then I cannot guarantee that I won’t be killed by Kylo Ren five minutes into fighting him” she said deathly serious, and Poe finally turned to look at her opening his mouth but Rey cuts him off by lifting her hand. She had spent her time listening to him, and Leia; she was going to speak now- and they were going to listen.

 

“I am not underestimating my skills, or overestimating Ren’s. Facts are facts, and me and Kylo maybe equals in power, but his skills in the force, and lightsaber technique far surpass mine.”

After her statement no one said a word, and Finn who is still holding on to Rey hand tightens his hold. “But Rey you defeated him back on Starkiller base, we all know this” Finn said, trying to make her see that she has the same skills as the monster. But Rey shakes her head, and removes her hand from his hold.

 

“No Finn I didn’t. You were there-you saw that he had been shot by Chewy before he fought me. And he was still clearly in shock after having killed his father.” She said simply.

 

And she turned to look at everyone, and straightened her back gaining her confidence back. What she was about to say is important, and something they all need to understand “When I faced Kylo Ren on Starkiller base he was already gravely wounded, and not in the right mindset. He was definitely not fighting me with everything he had, and he had no intentions of killing me. I know this, because he had many chances of doing so.”  

Through her words, she was trying to make the others understand. But she also, did not know why she was trying to convince them. Was it to make them see that she is no hero? That she is not as strong as they think she is? And then another thought entered her mind, one that she hated. Was it because she wanted to protect Ben’s reputation? She wanted to say no, but she isn’t exactly certain herself.

 

“If I were to face him at full power, I am almost certain that he will be the one to come out victorious.” She adds hastily, not wanting to think of Ben.

 

And after hearing her last words, Poe gives her a defeated look.  He knows that what Rey is saying is true. Ren has had years of experience, Rey has but a few weeks at most. It’s foolish to think that Rey could defeat the man, since he is currently more knowledgeable in the force than Rey is.

 

Poe slumps back on his chair unsure of what to do or say, he was really relying on Rey to solve the Kylo Ren problem. And he was hoping that she would agree to fight for them, but if she did what he wanted- Rey could be killed, and then they will be left with no hope to killing Ren.

Poe sighs in defeat, and was about to call the meeting to an end, seeing that they will not come up with a plan today. But before he could an idea crossed his mind, something that might just work.

 

Poe stands up, and he does it so suddenly that the others almost jump out of the seats. Poe doesn’t explain himself, and instead runs to the door. But before he leaves the room he looks at them, and smiles, “wait here, I’ll be back.” he said, and before he goes he gestures for them to stay in their seat, and he runs out of the room leaving the others confused.

 

* * *

 

 

Poe ran through the ship, and the others who he passes by stop to look at him confused, and some of them quickly move out of his way. When Poe reached the main hold, he ran to the compartment, and frantically opens the drawers. He rummaged through the things inside looking for something. “Damn it where are they?” he said, frustratingly pushing strange objects inside the compartment.

 

 “What are you looking for general?” A female voice, asked from behind him

 

Poe stops, and turns around to face the source of the voice, and he finds lieutenant Connix seating on the booth seeping from a mug.

 

“Oh-hey Connix, do you remember those ancient books that Rey told everyone not to touch? Something to do with ancient Jedi secrets?”

 

He was hopeful that maybe the young lieutenant might know the whereabouts of the books. Connix raised one eyebrow, and she stood from the booth with her mug in hand, and walked to where Poe was standing.

“I remember seeing them on the second shelf on the compartment over there” she said, pointing at the compartment near the halls.

 

Poe doesn’t waste any time, and nods his gratitude, and hastily makes his way to the compartment. When he opens the shelf he finds the ancient book inside, and Poe looks at Connix, and smiles.

 

“You saved the entire ship Connix, for all we know I would have torn the ship apart looking for this” he said taking all of the books out carefully, seeing as how old they are he didn’t want to damage them. Also, he didn’t want Rey to murder him.

 

Connix smiled, but she still looked at Poe unsure, “if you don’t mind me asking- why are you taking the books sir? Master Rey said that no one was to touch them” she said Rey’s new title without falter. It had been but two days ago when Poe began to hear the title the resistance have given Rey, and of course Rey had told them not to call her like that. But the resistance was full of stubborn men and women; they fully think that Rey, more than earned the title, and will continue to call her master.

 

“Well I’m taking them to Rey, its part of a plan you see.” He said cheerfully, and Connix raised her eyebrow once more, intrigued.

 

“Don’t worry you will understand soon enough, and I’m sorry but I can’t stay and chat, gotta get back to the important meeting” he said, and he makes his way out of the room, leaving a confused lieutenant behind.

* * *

 

 

 

When Poe re-enters the room, the others looked at him as confused, as they did when he left them. But they soon see what he is carrying, and Rey’s eyes widen and she stands up worried.

 

“I thought I said those books were not to be touched” she said angrily, and Poe walks to her, to stand in front of her. And he gently put the books down on the table, almost as a peace offering.

 

 “I know, I know but hear me out” he pleaded, and Rey gives him one last hesitant look, and she sits back down.

 

Now that he has everyone’s attention and Rey wasn’t going to kill him, for touching her precious books. Poe begins to explain himself, “you said, that these books contained ancient Jedi secrets right?” he asked hopeful, and Rey nods her response.

 

“Well then that’s it, in here you have all you need to learn about getting stronger, and about the force” he said cheerfully, as if he had come up with a solution to all of their problems.

 

“I don’t think these books have anything about Jedi training Poe. From the way Luke spoke about them, it seems that these books simply talk about philosophy, and religion” she said sadly, and carefully not wanting to take Poe’s hope away.

 

And for a second, Poe’s smile falters, but then the glint on his eyes come back at full force. “Yea but how do you know if you haven’t read them?”

 

Rey opens her mouth to answer him, but not finding anything to say she closes it. He is right she had not read them yet; she had been too focused on her own thoughts and driving Ben out of her mind that she had forgotten about the Jedi text.

 

“You never know until you give them a chance Rey, and who knows maybe there is some powerful secret technique somewhere in here. It doesn’t hurt to look right?” he asked hopeful, and almost as a plea, afraid that Rey would say no.

 

Rey gives Poe a long look, and after seeing his smile, and his hopeful mood, Rey sighs and graves the books. “You are right, it doesn’t help to try” she conceded, and Poe’s smile broadens finally finding some hint of hope.

 

Rey graved all of the books, and stood up. Not seeing any point in staying, knowing that the meeting was to a close, she heads to the door. Finn stands up and follows closely behind her, and she doesn’t say anything. But before exiting the room she looked back at Poe, and smiles at him, finding his hopeful mood too contagious “I’ll read through them Poe, but you have to promise me that you will give me time to learn, and train. No more of this throwing me to Kylo Ren, and hope for the best. Deal?” she asked, and Poe looked at her for a moment, considering his options.

 

After a long while he chuckled, and put his hands on his hips. “Fine, I promise I won’t throw you at the supreme bastard once we come across him. But only if you are not ready to fight him?” he adds.

 

Finn laughs beside Rey, after hearing Poe’s nickname to Kylo Ren and Rey can’t help but chuckle, and nods. “I promise” and with that she existed the room with Finn.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So part two of the monster chapter is done, and the story if finally starting to move along. Also, as always there are a few hints here and there, so let’s see if you catch them.


	4. Friendship

 

On their way to her room Finn didn’t say anything, and remained closely behind her as if he was scared something would happen to her if he got too far. Of course Rey knew that was not the case, and the reason why Finn was following her was because he wanted answers.

Both of them walk through the Millennium Falcon, and once again Rey noticed the other rebels stop to stare at her, and some even bowed their heads slightly in reverence. It should have made her proud to have gained their appreciation, and respect but she felt sick. She did not deserve their respect or hero-worship, and that is because it is her fault that horrible things were happening in the Galaxy.

If she had killed Ben when she had the chance instead of faltering, then people would not be suffering right now, Luke would not have died, and Leia would still have her twin brother. And she knew that if the Resistance found out that she did not take the chance to kill Ben, then they too would blame her.

No, she is no hero, and she knew that. She is simply an individual that had the chance to stop the conflict and the suffering, but when the time came she was too weak to do it. She allowed her self-interest, and morals to get in the way to what she should have done-to do what the galaxy needed her to do. So no, she is no hero, she is a woman that could have been a hero but failed miserably, and now others are paying the price for her weakness.

Rey looked down in shame avoiding eye contact with the people they passes, while Finn proudly looked up and greeted a few of them. They walked like that until they finally made it to the door that leads to the woman’s quarters. And just as soon as they stop, Rey turned around and looked at Finn, who was looking at her with determined eyes, and crossed arms.

Finn’s determination scared he, she thoughts that maybe she could prolonged the inevitable talk they would have. Of course she knew half way through the meeting that Finn would demand answers; he saw through the façade she had built, and saw how broken Rey truly was, and as her friend he obviously was not going to let her keep up this way.

“Finn I really don’t want to do this right now” she sighed exhausted, hoping that Finn would back down.

But Finn squares his shoulder, and kept looking at her determined; he was clearly not going to back down, and was set on talking to her even if she didn’t want to. And Rey looked at Finn with a hint of shock; she had never seen her friend so determined before.

Without having much of a choice, Rey turned around in defeat, and hit the button to open the slide door to. And before the door could completely slide open she hurriedly entered the room with Finn closely behind her.

Rey swiftly walked to her bed, avoiding everything on the ground without even looking down, and she slumped down on her bed. She lifted her head to look at Finn, and if she were not in such a sour mood she would have laughed.

Finn looked comical at the entrance of the room surrounded by the cluttered mess, and his face was one of hesitation. “You don’t have to stand there; I know Leia said that no men are allowed inside the crew room under penalty of death. But I’m sure she can make an exception, and if she doesn’t kill you for being here she won’t kill you for taking a seat.”

She wanted to shifts the tense mood to a more comfortable one, given what they would talk about, and having Finn stand by the door like a statue won’t help.

Finn looked away from the cluttered mess and into her eyes. He hesitated for a little while choosing whether to sit or not, he noticed Rey’s uncertainty, and slight discomfort glint through her eyes. Finn huffed and walked to the bed stationed in front of Rey’s; he would not seat on Rey’s, not because he was uncomfortable, but because he knew she needed her space.

Walking to the bed was a challenge-since he knew that Leia would murder him if he broke anything that belonged to the female crew members- but Finn managed to make it without stepping on anything.  When he reached the bed Finn slumped down on it, and held on to the sheets as if the bed was the only safe spot inside the room, and he looked up at her.

“Rey… since we have been reunited after what happened on Crait, the others and I can’t help but feel like you have been avoiding us, and isolating yourself from pretty much everything.” And as he spoke Rey turned her head away not wanting to look at him in the face, and turned to look at the wall instead.

“Look Rey- I have been trying to give you space and time to work things out by yourself. I know that people need time to deal with certain things- trust me I do.” He shifted closer trying to be closer to Rey, and to get her to look at him. “But now I feel like I have given you enough space, I mean you have been spending every day here, and that’s really not healthy Rey.”

Rey did not look back at Finn or even responded back, she simply kept looking at the wall in pain. And Finn knows that she feels guilty for shutting him out. She is his friend, so naturally she does not want to cause him any discomfort or concern, and she knew that she has been causing that by shutting him out.

Finn could not let her feel that way- like she was hurting him, so he leaned forward and put a reassuring hand on top of hers. And at the contact Rey finally turned her head away from the wall to look at Finn, with the same pained eyes, but that was not all that was in them. There was also, a great deal of uncertainty and fear in them, and it made him wonder what she could be hiding that was so horrible to make her feel this way?

“Rey, something ells happened on the Supremacy. Something you don’t want anyone ells to know- and it’s eating at you.” He practically whispered the sentence, as if he was afraid to agitate her.  

But his soft tone was not enough, and Rey’s eyes widened in fear. Obviously, she had guessed that Finn was suspicious of what truly happened in the throne room, and yet she can’t help but feel utter terror grasp her very being. Of course she isn’t scared of them kicking her out of the resistance; they are too nice and forgiving to do that, not to mention they needed her no matter how horrible the secret was. No Rey wasn’t scared of that, she was scared of what they will think of her- of what Finn will think of her.

She knew that she couldn’t lose them; she could not lose Finn her very first friend, not when she had lost so much. She had lost her parents, Han, Luke, Ben… she couldn’t bear to lose Finn as well. But she knew that she couldn’t maintain Finn in the dark forever either, and now that she sees how much worry she had caused him for shutting him out, she could no longer keep doing that to Finn. No she had to tell him, and not just about what happened at the Supremacy, but everything that happened- everything she has kept secret.

Finn grips her hand tighter snapping her out of her thoughts. He was reminding her that he was there with her, and telling her that she was not alone. “Rey, no matter how bad you may think this secret is, it will not change the way I see you.” He leaned in closer to Rey, wanting to be as close to her for support.

“I don’t think you understand how important you are to me Rey. I mean you are my first friend ever, and not to mention you actually saved me from the monster back on _Starkiller_ base.” He hesitated for a moment, trying to look for the right words. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing. And it was after a little while that he continued speaking. “You mean too much for me, for some secret to change that Rey. So you can tell me what’s bothering you.”

And the room falls into silence; he had wanted to say more, and tell her what he truly felt, but he knew that it was not the right time and place. But what he said had to be the closest he had ever told her how much he cared for her, and it would have to do for now.

He felt Rey’s hand shift in his grasp and for a moment he thought that she was going to remove her hand from his, but instead she grasped his hand tightly. “Finn you have to understand that you are the first person I ever cared for and it’s hard for me to open up to anyone. And I don’t really want to tell you the truth.”

She tightened her grip on Finn’s hand, as if she needed him as an anchor. “But it’s because I care about you that I’m going to tell you the truth. Just-just promise me you won’t get angry after I tell you” she pleads, and only after Finn nods his respond did she sigh loudly and began to tell him everything.

Rey started from the beginning, she told him of what happened aboard _Starkiller,_ and her interrogation, and how he entered her mind. She then revealed what happened during the fight between her and Kylo Ren, and how he had offered to train her. She then moved on to what happened on Ahch-To, to how Luke had frustratingly refused to teach her.

Rey did not stop speaking once she started, until she got to the inevitable part of the story she was trying to hide from everyone, and she almost lost her nerves, but her resolve won out. She hesitantly told him about the force bond between her and Kylo Ren, and she told him about their conversation in detail. From the first thing they said to each other, down to the last word that was shared between both force users. She also, told him about the cave and about the despair she felt when she found no answers as to who her parents are, and how in her weakness she had confide her feelings to Kylo Ren.

Then she moved on to tell him about her vision, and how she saw Kylo turn to the light side, and how that had driven her to go seek him out in the _Supremacy._ Once more she hesitated- she did not want to tell him what happened on that day, but she had already come this far and she was not going to back down. She told him about her hopes to bring Ren to the light side, and how he turned her down and how he proposed to rule the galaxy with her instead. She even admitted her temptation to take the offer, and how she hated herself for it.

Everything after that, he pretty much already knew, but she did tell him about their last encounter through the force bond and how she shut him out for good. And now that she was revealing everything to him, she also told him how that was not the last encounter; she told him about the recent connection between their emotions, and why this was the reason she was being so distant and angry at everyone.

Lastly she told him the riskiest of her secrets. She told him how she had grown close to Ren, and that even now she doesn’t fully understand her feelings, she admitted that they are quite strong, and why that was the reason why she couldn’t kill him.

“Do you see that is why I am no hero Finn; I could have ended this conflict. If I had not let personal feelings get in the way of my duty, then people would not be suffering right now. Luke would still be alive –Finn. And the guilt is slowly destroying me, and even now I can’t fully hate Ben, and I know that if I could go back to that moment I would still choose to let him live.”

She was almost at the brink of crying, and she still had not seen Finn’s expression. She was too afraid to look at him, and see the anger and disappointment in his eyes. She knew that at any moment now he would leave the room, and never speak to her again.

But that moment never comes, Finn did not leave even after quite a long while has passed Finn does not leave the room. Rey realizing that he would not leave- she hesitantly turned her head to face him, and she sees what she knew she would see. Finn’s eyebrows are furrowed in anger, and his eyes are full of confusion, and sadness.

Rey took a deep breath to stop herself from crying, and let’s go of Finn’s hand which he allowed to drop. She knew from the beginning that Finn would be angry, and she thought that would prepare her for the moment, but she was wrong- it truly hurt to see it in person.

Rey stood up to leave the room not wanting to hear Finn’s respond. She was not strong enough to see someone she cared for leave her life once again. But before Rey took her first step, the hand that was supporting her through her whole revelation graved her hand once more, more purposefully than ever.

Rey stopped and turned to look at Finn, who was looking at her worried, and saddened. “Rey, I’m not angry at you, I’m angry at the whole situation mostly. Please stay, I was just really shocked, I’m sorry” he said desperately.

After hearing his words Rey felt one traitorous tear slide down her cheek, she could not believe that Finn wasn’t angry at her. And that almost caused her to break down completely, but she holds her tears in with great difficulty. They needed to talk after all, and that tends to be difficult when one is crying like a child.

“You are not angry at me?” she whispered so softly, that Finn thought he had imagined the words. And after seeing her lone tear, he stud up and hugged her tightly, and he felt Rey let out a shuddered breath- she was clearly on the brink of crying.

“Rey, its ok to cry you know.” he patted her back in reassurance, and that is all Rey needed to hear.

Rey cried on his shoulder, but she wasn’t crying like he would expect, or like he had seen other women cry when the First Order took everything from them. No, Rey was not crying hysterically, she was crying softly and quietly, and for a moment he wondered if she was truly crying. But then he felt her body shake slightly, and heard her hushed sobs. And Finn continued to stroke her back reassuredly, and he just stood there like a post for Rey to cry on.

It didn’t take long for Rey to stop crying, and he patted her head when her sobs began to slowly die down. And it was only after she was truly done crying that Rey separated herself from Finn, but he is still held on to her arms not wanting to let go of her. Rey’s eyes were red and puffy from crying, and her nose has a hint of red too

“Now before I let go, and we continue talking I want you to know I am not angry at you Rey. Sure this is a bit disconcerting, and way more than what I thought- but you are still my friend got that?” he asked softly, not wanting to scare her.

Rey wipes her tears and nods, and Finn let go of her, and they both take their seats on the beds. For a moment they were both quiet, and neither one said anything until Rey finally broke the silence.

“I thought you would hate me. And I just couldn’t lose you Finn- not like I have lost everyone ells.” She explained herself with a shaky voice.

“Rey come on, you know me better than that. I mean sure I’m shocked and everything, and mostly I’m angry at you for not telling me. But mostly I’m sad that you had to go through that alone- and that it had become so unbearable that you had to settle with telling that monster” he declared with a hint of anger in his voice.

“I can only imagine how terrifying and uncomfortable it would be to have a conversation with the guy, especially with the whole mask thing.” he shuddered at the thought, and he notices a corner of Rey’s lip lifted slightly in amusement.

“It was a bit uncomfortable at times, he isn’t much of a talker, and more of a demand answers type of guy.”

“I can imagine; from what I remember during my time with the First Order he would rarely talk, and usually let his saber do the talking for him.” He laughed slightly but he was far from amused. He still did not like talking about his time in the Order

“That being said, I can’t imagine why anyone would willingly speak with him or much less seek him out. So why did you Rey? You know how corrupted he is- I mean the man killed his own father like it was nothing! And you still sought him out” he said slightly angry, and Rey flinch slightly at his words.

And as soon as he said the words he regretted them, he truly did not blame Rey for anything that happened. And he would not allow her to regress to her cold and dejected mood, so he took a deep breath and let it out loudly- calming himself down.

“I just really want to understand why you did it, but no matter how much you explain it to me I probably will never understand. It’s probably one of those force things only force users can understand. But I do know this, I am angry at you for putting your life in danger.”

Rey sighed in defeat. “I guess I wasn’t thinking when I went to seek him out, I was so focused on the vision that I didn’t think he would reject returning to the light. And I certainly did not think what it would mean to others either-and I’m sorry for that Finn.”

He looked at and saw her puppy eyes, and he couldn’t help but forgive her for the horrible decision she made. “Damn it I can’t stay angry at you. Fine I forgive you, but only if your promise to never do something as foolish as that.”

Rey grinned, and it wasn’t a full happy grin, but it was better, and more real than any she had shown the entire time they had been on the Falcon. “Thank you Finn and I promise that if I absolutely don’t need to I won’t do something so foolish.” She reassured him, and she was happy that they were beginning  to re-connect again and she smiled at her friend, who couldn’t help but smile back at her.

“Well that’s not the answer I wanted, but it’s the best I’m going to get. So before we can start putting this behind us, I have a few things I want to say and a few things I want you to promise”

“Go ahead Finn” she said more confidently, now that the worse was behind them she could finally begin relaxed rather than feel like a tense wire.

“Well first of all, I just want to say the last five days of you brooding, and avoiding us- could have been avoided if you had open up to me. But I understand that you needed time, so I’m not too mad.” He reassured before continuing. “But from now on you need to talk to me if you have any concerns, or problems-especially if the Supreme bastard speaks with you through the weird force thingy.”

“The force bond” she corrected him, and she smirked after hearing Poe’s nickname for Ben, and his crude name for the force bond.

“Force bond- whatever you want to call it, you need to tell me when it opens again. And I don’t know how I will do it, but I will force smack the guy all the way from here!” he declared very seriously, and Rey couldn’t help but laugh after imagining Finn somehow entering the bond and smacking Ben like a big brother protecting his sister.

And Finn was clearly not amused by her laughed, and huffed in indignation. “I am serious Rey; I will find a way to give him a piece of my mind. But now that, that is out of the way I want you to promise me that you won’t keep secrets like this again. I mean sure, you don’t have to tell me absolutely everything, but if there is anything like this you have to tell me Rey, because staying quiet t is not good specially for you.”

Rey’s wipes her smile from her face, and a more serious look took its place. She knew she couldn’t possibly agree to that, everyone has secret and since she is the last Jedi it’s only a matter of time before she is entrusted with secrets that could devastate the galaxy. No, she can’t promise that, but she could promise to try.

“I can’t really promise you that Finn, seeing my new role in the galaxy; it’s inevitable that I will come into the possession of powerful secrets. But I promise that if the secrets are mine to give, and there is no danger in you knowing- then I will share them with you.” Finn’s expression changed to one of disappointment after hearing her words.

“ok… as long as you don’t revert back to the brooding Rey then I’m fine with that- you know I’m only doing this for you right Rey?” he asked hoping that he wasn’t being too demanding.

“I understand Finn; I would also demand all of that if you started to behave that way.”

Finn nodded and his shoulders relax for the first time since walking into the room. Even though he wasn’t happy about what he just heard, he was glad that Rey had finally spoken to him, and it would only be a matter of time before she got back to her old self. And this heartened him; that she will be able to heal and move on eventually, and despite this he could still feel the sour emotion of anger and jealousy in him

Yes he was jealous because she had gone to Kylo Ren, the most evil man in the galaxy so easily and readily when she needed someone to talk to. And according to her the man probably knew her better than anyone, due to the force bond, and after hearing her admit that she feels something for him, he couldn’t help but be extremely angry, and jealous of Ren. She did say that she didn’t fully understand the feelings, and that it could be fuelled by the force bond and not really her own, and at least that gave him hope.

But that didn’t take away the fact that Rey had confided so many deep and emotional things with Kylo Ren. And he was extremely angry at the man, because he made her fell like he was the only one that truly understood her- and what was worse, she still believes that. It infuriated him, but he was not angry at Rey no, never at Rey, but at himself and the monster. He was angry because he couldn’t be there for her when she needed him the most, and the monster had but he only took advantage of her. Finn knew that Ren wasn’t there for Rey he knew that- he used her to defeat Snoke, and he used her compassion for him to do just that; at least he failed to turn her to his cause.

Finn was too caught up with his thought that were only turning darker, so he didn’t notice Rey lay a hand on his shoulder reassuredly. Finn turned to look at her, he had not realized that he had turned his head away from. “It’s ok Finn, all of that is in the past now. Besides being angry of the past would only make Ben happy, he would be thrilled to know that he is frustrating us light years away. And I’ll be damned if we give him anything he wants.” He smiled at that and nodded in agreement.

After seeing that Finn was no longer thinking dark thoughts, Rey stood up and walked to the compartment. And Finn looked at her confused, and watched her as she graved something from the compartment, and returned to her bed.

It was only after she sat that she revealed what she was holding, which turned out to be an old deck of worn out sabacc cards. And Rey expertly shuffles the deck of cards, and lays them down on the empty side of her bed.

Satisfied with the way she laid out the cards, she turns to look at Finn who was looking at her confused. “I found this deck of Sabacc hidden in a corner in the cockpit yesterday; I haven’t played since I left Jakku, and I was wondering if you would want to play?” she asked expectantly, and Finn kept looking at her surprised.

“You gamble?” is the only thing he managed to say.

And Rey rolled her eyes and scoffs. “Sabacc was the only entertainment in Jakku, and a great way to win credits if you know how to play well.”

Finn’s eyebrows shoot up bewildered that Rey- peaceful and naïve looking Rey had gambled before. “Oh don’t give me that look, if you don’t want to play then tell me and I’ll look for someone ells to play with” she exclaimed, ready to stand up.

But before she could go anywhere Finn stood up first and walked to her bed, and dropped down on the opposite side of her taking the cards laid out in front of him.

“I admit that I have not played in a long time, and I am rusty, but even I know that Sabacc is played with a pair of dice”

He was attempting to sound confident in his skills, more than he really was. And Rey simply stick her hand into the pockets Finn didn’t even knew she had -and produced a pair of old red dice. “These are mine; I won them from a pilot back on Jakku. The pilot had spent all of his credits on alcohol so he had nothing to bet, and he put in the dice.” She put the dice between them.

Finn laughed at the absurdity of it all; who would have thought? Rey a gambler- and he couldn’t help but laugh harder. And it was only after a long while that Finn stopped graved the dice, and looked at Rey who wasn’t too happy that he was mocking her. “I’ll play, but you know Poe won’t be too happy. He did ask you to read the old and dusty Jedi texts.” He shocks the dice in one hand.

And Rey shrugged “I don’t have to read them right this instant- besides I have to beat you. I’m sure that adding a former Stormtrooper to my list of victories will make it more impressive” she sneered now the one mocking him.

Finn couldn’t help but laugh and give her a cocky smile. “I could say the same, when I beat you I will be adding a Jedi to my list.”

And without saying anything ells Finn threw the dice, and they started the game neither one of them even remembering what they had talked about just a few minutes ago. And yet despite the leisure smiles and laughs Finn couldn’t help but still feel the sour feeling of jealousy after hearing Rey call Kylo Ben. Rey was clearly too familiar with the man, and it made him wonder if there was something Rey was not telling him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So finally we got to see why Rey was really so down, and about Finn’s feelings for her. And at least now Rey will start to get better too.
> 
> Thank for reading and see you next chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> so what did you think? Please let me know what you thoughts on the chapter  
> Also, you can come join me on the blog I made for my fanfictions, on tumblr. I'll be posting a few fan arts for the fan fiction, and information about the story there.  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/inswhitefang


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